#1
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, " What other problem can therebe greater than this one?"
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#2
Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kin of you, darling. But I dont have any worries or troubles.
Girl : Well, that because we arent married yet.
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#3
Son : Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom : Well, you hav done the right thing.
Son : But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
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#4
Wife : What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Husband : Golfing with friends, my dear.
Wife : What? At 2 am?!!
Husband : Yes, we used night clubs.
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#5
Anewly married man asked his wife," Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?". "Honey," the woman replied sweetly;" I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
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#6
Father to son after exam : " Let me see your report card"
Son : " My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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#7
" How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the rommate answered. " He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." " Wow! Thats very expensive car. What's so bad about that?". " He is the original owner."
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#8
A teacher asked her class for sentences using word " beans"
" My father grow beans, " said one student.
" My father cook beans, "said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up " We are all human beans "
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#9
Interviewer t Millionaire : To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire : I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer : Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?
Millionaire : A Billionaire...
Brought to you by www.today-joke.blogspot.com
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Friday, January 2, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
9 Words women use
1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Anything said after that is the start of a new argument.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
Brought to you by www.today-joke.blogspot.com
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!
Brought to you by www.today-joke.blogspot.com
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